were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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