just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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