One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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