If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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