I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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