I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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