She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
