Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
