You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
