My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
