lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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