I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
