Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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