You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
