forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
