i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
