I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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