you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
