she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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