i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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