It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
