if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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