I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
