we're chasing vodka with high fives
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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