Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
