I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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