Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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