Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
