It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
