obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
