I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
