very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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