do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
