he looks like a really good dad on facebook
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
