So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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