My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just want nice things and good sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
