so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
