If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
