What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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