just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
