I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
