Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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