I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
