He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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