I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
