literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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