When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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