Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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