There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
