Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
